Feedback from Peers

Below is a short clip of feedback given by a small group of peers, watching the final edit of our film opening 'Roads'. After the viewing, they were asked questions and gave honest answers. All three students gave consent to being filmed and put onto video sharing site, YouTube.

Third Draft - ROADS

Second Draft - ROADS

After re-shooting the bedroom scene and credits, we showed the second edit of our film opening to our teacher and class once again. We then received feedback once again, yet this time solely from the teacher.

Improvements given after feedback from a larger group of teachers were:

The voiceover at the started needs to be re-recorded as it sounds very tinny and as if it was done on a phone, creating atmosphere for a horror film opening.
More narrative is needed as bedroom does not tell story.
Credits; Writing on the pill bottle looks messy, need to be printed.
              Cigarette packet looks too fake.
              Order of credits was wrong, BFI order needs to be checked.
Needs more comical aspects; A toilet scene - someone sitting on the toilet.
                                                Things going wrong.
                                                Underwear falling out of bag in public.
All cuts are in time with the music and fit well.

First Draft - ROADS

Below is the first draft of our final opening, a comedy drama, Roads. After editing and showcasing this to our class and teachers, we developed our ideas further.

As a group, we thought up questions to ask the class to answer whilst viewing our opening twice. They then wrote down their answers and notes onto paper before handing them back to us in order for us to re-shoot and develop our final opening.


           1. What did you like about the opening? (Give specifics)

The non-diegetic background music worked well, was catchy and memorable.

I really like the transition from the man running to where the protagonist is standing at the brick wall.

Credits were imaginative and worked well.

There was a clever use of mise-en-scene and credits.

Subtle but creative credits and the music is well suited.

           2. Would you watch the rest of the film? Why?

Probably, but I would have to see longer/more of the opening to add to narrative.
I think the narrative is slightly unclear so I would watch a bit more to get a better understanding.

           3. Out of 10, how well does it suit the comedy drama genre?

8 - Can not see the drama side of it yet.
6 - I didn't really get the comedy aspect in the opening, seems more of a coming of age.
7 - The music helps (although contrapuntal to the dramatic side).
6 - Music + pizza = comedy

           4. Who would you guess the target audience are?

Youths.
The demographic is very clearly teenagers.
Our age (teenagers) but restricted to that.
Teenage girls.
Teens aged 14-21.

           5. How would you improve the opening in terms of mise-en-scene, cinematography, editing, sound and continuity?

Edit the colours to give a stronger contrast - make brighter.
Make the cigarette packet look more realistic and make the zoom at the start smoother.
Add more shots between the credits to add time and easier to follow.
Stabilising is needed on some shots.
Make sure credits are realistic enough so the audience can not tell that they are altered.

           6. From a director's point of view, what else would you add or remove?

I would have added more narrative by adding more scenes of the female protagonist.
Add more shots of the female protagonist during the credit sequence to establish her character further.
More emotion of teenager and their stereotype - moody, swearing etc.

Technology Used and Problems Faced

For the original storyboard:

Over the course of creating our film opening, we have learnt a lot about the technologies we used to construct our product. Originally, we used the Canon DSLR camera and we found that by touching the screen of the camera it focused on specific object. However, we struggled to get the camera to focus on some zoomed in shots and when we filmed fast shots.

For the improved storyboard:

As result of our focusing struggle and unsteadiness with the Canon DSLR camera, we decided to use an iPhone 7 camera. It is of similar quality and we practised a few test shots to see if it was appropriate for are extreme close up and fast movement shots.

Filming Day 2

After brainstorming and adapting our new comic ideas, we obviously had to re-film many parts of our film opening. The locations we decided to use were the Tonbridge park toilets, a bus stop in Tonbridge and also a house in Tonbridge, which we used the front of as well as the door.

For one of our credits, we used lipstick on a small metal mirror on the interior of the toilets. On this, we wrote "AN AKHTAR FILM" which we filmed whilst our protagonist looked at herself in the mirror in distress.

This idea was effective in the aesthetics of the final opening, as it conformed to the colour palette that we decided on. As well as this, it followed the idea that we wanted initially, of the credits being incorporated onto objects within the film, which we did consistently.

We then moved onto filming the bus stop scene, which would be the establishing shot of the opening.

This wide shot was simply just the protagonist (Ebony Paice) sitting on the bench, before we filmed a car driving past for the swipe screen effect we plan to add in the editing process.

We will then also edit in a voice over that we recorded which will play over the first two locations.

Shooting Script - Final Edit

After receiving feedback and having to re-shoot, we had to create a new shooting script that we could follow to make it easier for the group and our actors. Below is the updated version of our shooting script due to the development in ideas and changes in our opening. 

Permission Documents

In order to get actors and extras for our opening, we had to ensure that any that were under the age of 18 had permission from a parent or guardian for them to be filmed.

Filming Day 1

29th January 2017

After fixing our final locations as a group, we set a date to shoot the first two scenes of the opening. As a group, we met in Tonbridge Park along with our actor, Ebony Paice and the extras, Brian Bradley, Ben Bradley and Ethan Simpson.


Luckily, there were not many people actually in the park which allowed us to film for a longer time, without the risk of shooting a member of the public without their consent. If this ever was a risk, we stopped filming and informed them what we were doing until they moved on and passed by.

We decided to use two options of costume for our protagonist, one which was dull and dark going along with the theme of drugs and the dark side of our comedy drama, and the other which went along with our colour scheme.

During the shooting, we were cautious of the swipe screen where one extra would run across the screen extremely closely which would switch the location to the brick wall. To make sure we got this shot done well, we had to overshoot to give ourselves options during the editing stage.





We decided to use a tripod instead of a handheld as we tested both, one walking and the other just zooming in, this was for the very first opening shot. The handheld was extremely shaky and did not give the effect we wanted so we decided to use a tripod which also improved the continuity as the second scene along the brick wall was also planned to be filmed in this way.

We then moved on to filming the brick wall after the swipe screen. As we shot each scene in chronological order, we started with the swipe screen which we again had to overshoot so that the switch between the two scenes could be consistent and smooth. 

Shooting Script

Our group created the shooting script before filming so that it was available to us on the day to ensure it went smoothly without any problems. 

Each scene or shot is labelled with a number, along with whether it was an exterior or interior shot and which location we chose for it to be set in. This is then followed by the specific shot type and important cinematography and acting information for each scene and actor.