First Draft - ROADS

Below is the first draft of our final opening, a comedy drama, Roads. After editing and showcasing this to our class and teachers, we developed our ideas further.

As a group, we thought up questions to ask the class to answer whilst viewing our opening twice. They then wrote down their answers and notes onto paper before handing them back to us in order for us to re-shoot and develop our final opening.


           1. What did you like about the opening? (Give specifics)

The non-diegetic background music worked well, was catchy and memorable.

I really like the transition from the man running to where the protagonist is standing at the brick wall.

Credits were imaginative and worked well.

There was a clever use of mise-en-scene and credits.

Subtle but creative credits and the music is well suited.

           2. Would you watch the rest of the film? Why?

Probably, but I would have to see longer/more of the opening to add to narrative.
I think the narrative is slightly unclear so I would watch a bit more to get a better understanding.

           3. Out of 10, how well does it suit the comedy drama genre?

8 - Can not see the drama side of it yet.
6 - I didn't really get the comedy aspect in the opening, seems more of a coming of age.
7 - The music helps (although contrapuntal to the dramatic side).
6 - Music + pizza = comedy

           4. Who would you guess the target audience are?

Youths.
The demographic is very clearly teenagers.
Our age (teenagers) but restricted to that.
Teenage girls.
Teens aged 14-21.

           5. How would you improve the opening in terms of mise-en-scene, cinematography, editing, sound and continuity?

Edit the colours to give a stronger contrast - make brighter.
Make the cigarette packet look more realistic and make the zoom at the start smoother.
Add more shots between the credits to add time and easier to follow.
Stabilising is needed on some shots.
Make sure credits are realistic enough so the audience can not tell that they are altered.

           6. From a director's point of view, what else would you add or remove?

I would have added more narrative by adding more scenes of the female protagonist.
Add more shots of the female protagonist during the credit sequence to establish her character further.
More emotion of teenager and their stereotype - moody, swearing etc.