After re-shooting the bedroom scene and credits, we showed the second edit of our film opening to our teacher and class once again. We then received feedback once again, yet this time solely from the teacher.
Improvements given after feedback from a larger group of teachers were:
The voiceover at the started needs to be re-recorded as it sounds very tinny and as if it was done on a phone, creating atmosphere for a horror film opening.
More narrative is needed as bedroom does not tell story.
Credits; Writing on the pill bottle looks messy, need to be printed.
Cigarette packet looks too fake.
Order of credits was wrong, BFI order needs to be checked.
Needs more comical aspects; A toilet scene - someone sitting on the toilet.
Things going wrong.
Underwear falling out of bag in public.
All cuts are in time with the music and fit well.
Below is the first draft of our final opening, a comedy drama, Roads. After editing and showcasing this to our class and teachers, we developed our ideas further.
As a group, we thought up questions to ask the class to answer whilst viewing our opening twice. They then wrote down their answers and notes onto paper before handing them back to us in order for us to re-shoot and develop our final opening.
1. What did you like about the opening? (Give specifics)
The non-diegetic background music worked well, was catchy and memorable.
I really like the transition from the man running to where the protagonist is standing at the brick wall.
Credits were imaginative and worked well.
There was a clever use of mise-en-scene and credits.
Subtle but creative credits and the music is well suited.
2. Would you watch the rest of the film? Why?
Probably, but I would have to see longer/more of the opening to add to narrative.
I think the narrative is slightly unclear so I would watch a bit more to get a better understanding.
3. Out of 10, how well does it suit the comedy drama genre?
8 - Can not see the drama side of it yet.
6 - I didn't really get the comedy aspect in the opening, seems more of a coming of age.
7 - The music helps (although contrapuntal to the dramatic side).
6 - Music + pizza = comedy
4. Who would you guess the target audience are?
Youths.
The demographic is very clearly teenagers.
Our age (teenagers) but restricted to that.
Teenage girls.
Teens aged 14-21.
5. How would you improve the opening in terms of mise-en-scene, cinematography, editing, sound and continuity?
Edit the colours to give a stronger contrast - make brighter.
Make the cigarette packet look more realistic and make the zoom at the start smoother.
Add more shots between the credits to add time and easier to follow.
Stabilising is needed on some shots.
Make sure credits are realistic enough so the audience can not tell that they are altered.
6. From a director's point of view, what else would you add or remove?
I would have added more narrative by adding more scenes of the female protagonist.
Add more shots of the female protagonist during the credit sequence to establish her character further.
More emotion of teenager and their stereotype - moody, swearing etc.
Over the course of creating our film opening, we have learnt a lot about the technologies we used to construct our product. Originally, we used the Canon DSLR camera and we found that by touching the screen of the camera it focused on specific object. However, we struggled to get the camera to focus on some zoomed in shots and when we filmed fast shots.
For the improved storyboard:
As result of our focusing struggle and unsteadiness with the Canon DSLR camera, we decided to use an iPhone 7 camera. It is of similar quality and we practised a few test shots to see if it was appropriate for are extreme close up and fast movement shots.
After brainstorming and adapting our new comic ideas, we obviously had to re-film many parts of our film opening. The locations we decided to use were the Tonbridge park toilets, a bus stop in Tonbridge and also a house in Tonbridge, which we used the front of as well as the door.
For one of our credits, we used lipstick on a small metal mirror on the interior of the toilets. On this, we wrote "AN AKHTAR FILM" which we filmed whilst our protagonist looked at herself in the mirror in distress.
This idea was effective in the aesthetics of the final opening, as it conformed to the colour palette that we decided on. As well as this, it followed the idea that we wanted initially, of the credits being incorporated onto objects within the film, which we did consistently.
We then moved onto filming the bus stop scene, which would be the establishing shot of the opening.
This wide shot was simply just the protagonist (Ebony Paice) sitting on the bench, before we filmed a car driving past for the swipe screen effect we plan to add in the editing process.
We will then also edit in a voice over that we recorded which will play over the first two locations.
After receiving feedback and having to re-shoot, we had to create a new shooting script that we could follow to make it easier for the group and our actors. Below is the updated version of our shooting script due to the development in ideas and changes in our opening.
When re-filming our film opening, we decided to use public toilets to add comic effect and more narrative as well as giving a specific, more obvious place for the title of our film to go and be isolated. This made it easier for the name to be identified for what it is as well as showing that it is an opening, and where it ends as this is the last credit shown.
This post shows the recce of the toilets that we did. We wanted it to be a confined and small space to represent how she has been thrown out of her house and has almost no option for her to go, so she is confined in what she can do.
We thought the no-smoking sign on the toilet wall could add to irony of her life, as our protagonist is addicted to drugs and this is the focal point of the opening and rest of the film. However, we did not get round to filming this part of the location unfortunately so had to leave it out of the opening.
The photo above shows the toilet stalls which we had in almost all of the shots inside the public toilets. We took a low angle shot from either end of the toilets when the protagonist walked in and out of them. We also wrote in eye-liner and lipstick onto the metal stall doors small phrases such as "David has a small dick" and "call this no. for a good time" which added comic effect and allows the comedy genre to be seen amongst the drama genre.
This was only needed to be used on our protagonist, Sam, to make her seem as though she had been out the night before and was hungover.
To do this we used a red lip liner to go on the top of the eyelids, as well as on the water line; this gave a sense of tiredness as well as the occurrence of drug use, keeping to the recurring theme of drugs within the film.
We then just applied normal mascara which we smudged when wet to create a sense of it having been worn the night before, as if she had passed out or fallen asleep from being drunk when she got into her plain bed.
PROPS
Our props were mainly seen in the credit sequence within the bedroom, some of which had the names of actors and directors names written on in some way.
We put pieces of clothing on the floor which conforms to our scheme. We also threw makeup to show the carelessness of our main protagonist of her makeup, also stereo typically showing that she is a girl.
The black top in the image was made in 'InGear', Tunbridge Wells, which we all went to and help to design the prop.
This is the first prop that is seen within the opening and shows the name of the actor playing our protagonist. The choice of a guitar outline show her personality deeper and the typical "edgy" teenager.
We found a red book and yellow folder within school and asked permission from staff to use them.
Red and yellow are, once again, conforming to our colour palette and feature within the credit sequence many times, in each clip.
The two in the image on the left read the three supporting actors, Ben Bradley, Brian Bradley and Ethan Simpson.
The next props were set on top of a guitar amp. The props used were; a metal teaspoon, icing sugar made to look like cocaine and the same cigarette lighter from the previous outdoor scene for continuity.
We also created our own student card which had the words 'directed by' on which was followed by each of our names within the credits until the end.
'Lizzie Bradley' is written on the red laptop screen, next to red pants, to show age and the fact she is still in school but also growing up.
The pizza box is to represent her age again, and the laziness of the protagonist due to mainly drugs and her lifestyle. We doodled on it to show her arty, "edgy" and more personal side as it contains guitars and drugs. The box also has 'Lucy Gaston' written on it, showing the embedded credits that run through the opening.
We took a pills bottle and wrote again in handwriting, like a prescription bottle would be, the name of the final member in our group as director, just as the opening ends.
The drink next to it, half drunk, is representative again of stereotypical teenage laziness, as there are many cups around her room, obviously that she has left or not bothered to remove from her room.
